Look at me.

[This post was started in October and due to my chronic case of ennui, I haven’t gotten around to finishing it until now, six months later.]

In this infernal year of 2020, I have, as have most people, I think, attended my share of Zoom and Microsoft Teams meetings. MS Teams is the system we use at work, but we Zoom for parent/teacher stuff for my kid.

It has been suggested to me, from a few separate places, that those of us who choose to leave our cameras on for these meetings are suffering from a major case of narcissism. (“Meeting Boy” on Twitter takes a humorous look at workplace foibles, and he seems to agree with this assessment. His tweet on this was along the lines of, Hey, you’re not as hot as you think you are! Turn off the camera!).

The thing is, I leave my camera on because I want to be seen. Not because I’m so pretty (you may consider yourself lucky if you catch sight of me with blow-dried hair and eyeliner, but either with or without a touch of makeup, I’m pretty basic). I leave it on because, in these meetings, I want to SEE YOU. I want to look at your face. I need that. And how can I know if you need it too? I don’t. I’m sorry if this makes me seem conceited. But there is nothing good about these meetings unless the gallery shows your little face. If you don’t want to see me then there are ways around that on your end. But consider it, would you?

I started writing this post in November 2020, and since then, I’ve read a couple of articles about why we should keep our cameras on for online meetings. Not just to be “professional,” but for our mental health. Additionally, my supervisor informed us that we are also required to keep the camera on, to maintain the high level of customer service our unit is required to provide (though this puzzles me because based on my interactions with other units, no one else is being held to this same standard). So I keep my camera on. I haven’t invested in one of those ring lights (though I have considered it), and I am still wearing sweat pants and a hoodie (or a dress… and a hoodie) pretty much every day, and generally, the lowest level of whatever I’m reaching for is “clean…”

I keep my camera on. I am here. So are you. Let’s look at each other.