I become a fake untrained stylist

I’ve been a follower of Catherine, Princess of Wales, since she married William.

For no better reason than I like the clothes and the jewels and the history and the events and the places she goes.

Lately (?) people have been saying her style is stale and matronly and ill-guided and that she needs a haircut and better makeup.

God forbid I tell another woman what she should do with her hair but I kind of agree. Length seems to be the thing she’s after but it’s also boring. Shoulder length or a bit longer might suit her better. A long side bang, maybe. A change would be nice.

And the issue with the makeup is not my area at all.

But I think she’s very pretty, she wears clothes well, she’s tall and thin, and maybe even I can do better.

If I were shopping with her I’d try to steer her away from blush, gold, white, and most shades of yellow. I loved that bright green gown she wore to an, I think it was an Earth Shot event. Gorgeous. And the black floral dress, before she altered the straps.

She almost never goes strapless and rarely shows her shoulders. She may have a long waist. She seems to like to be covered up. I can respect that. Anyway here’s my first attempt.

I love this color. She can wear a deep v, I think.

This is probably crazy. The bodice would need to be altered to be less sexy. The print is probably not something she’d like though I think she likes ruffles. But let’s try it.

Another pattern, and the shoulders are out. She looks great in green, and this seems so youthful.

I love this color. Would one shoulder work? Maybe.

I love this color too. Maybe the pleats are too messy. But again: we’re trying things. She’s in her 40s. Let’s just see.

I don’t think she ever wears red? Maybe the shoulders are too padded? The whole thing too slinky (and I think the back is pretty low)? Too Star Trek? I don’t know: but that color grabbed me.

Brown is trendy for 2026 but man this is pretty.

She wears plaids all the time. Off the shoulder, high-low hem… ? Changes might be needed. But I bet they could make it work. I love this.

I know. It’s yellow. But it’s also slinky and modern and I love it.

A dream

Last night I dreamed I was engaged to be married. I don’t know who the man was. Since I’m married in real life and not interested in starting a cult, I’m not sure what this dream is saying to me. But in it, I was walking home from someplace. “Home” was my dad’s house and I was up by the Jack In the Box near his house. A man in a red jeep pulled up and said he’d take me home but he was a terrible driver: speeding, took the wrong way, wouldn’t let me out until we arrived at a totally random parking lot. He let me out.

Then that part of the dream seemed to be over, and I was at the home of a woman I was close to when I was little. She taught me to sew and cook, skills I no longer possess. In the dream we were looking at my wedding dress, which was U.G.L.Y. It was white, with black patterned fabric in panels down the front. It had short sleeves, a square neckline, and a tiered skirt with a tiny ruffle at the bottom hem. But there was something wrong with the ruffle. She and I had the dress spread out on the floor and she was teaching me how to fix the ruffle. It was a complicated procedure that required me to have 4 strands of thread in the needle, and involved making four tiny stitches and then three more stitches, and then pulling on the strings to create the perfect ruffle. I’m pretty sure these instructions would do absolutely nothing in real life but she was adamant that I do it this way. That skirt was huge and it took ages to create this ruffle. After a while I got very tired and was like, OMG NO ONE CARES ABOUT THIS RUFFLE AND I’M GETTING MARRIED IN TWO DAYS!

I have no idea to whom I was engaged.

I had to get someplace, so I was walking along and the dude in the red jeep picked me up. Again the ride was chaotic and very fast, and he took me to another parking lot. It was fully cement, kind of like the parking lot at Walt Disney Hall if there were no painted surfaces and a lot less light. We drove down into the parking lot, around and around, and finally got to the bottom and the end. I got out and he left me there.

Yeah, my dreams are weird.

Trying to not be mean spirited...

I haven’t continued my series on Meghan Markle (Sussex)’s Netflix series, and there are a couple of reasons for this. Allow me to share them with you:

  1. I didn’t want to pile on. She’s getting a lot of grief for using “HRH” somewhere on something, and I don’t really give a shit about that (no pearl clutching from me! Also I have no pearls to clutch!)..

  2. Her show is really bad. See number 1.

  3. I’ve been watching other stuff; namely, I just finished all 900 seasons of “30 Rock." I’ve been catching up on the new season of American Idol, based on a friend’s recommendation. I haven’t watched it in YEARS. Also, Top Chef, Will Trent, Hacks, Last Week Tonight, and of course another rewatch of The West Wing. Other stuff too, I’m just too old to remember, apparently.

  4. Back to the title: I’m trying to not be mean spirited, and to be honest, I guess I knew I would fail.

Anyway. That’s why. Maybe I’ll finish some day… maybe I won’t. Stay tuned. Or don’t, it’s all the same to me.