What's next?

I just got off the phone with my cardiologist.

The hightlights of that conversation are:

• My heart is normal (ha! I told him he might need to call some people to confirm).

• The monitor caught some episodes of atrial fibrillation and atrial tachycardia; atrial fibrillation is more serious, which we kind of knew already. He asked if I felt it when it happened: um, yes, doctor, I felt it, did you?

He said that my options were to move to a secondary medication that works with the electrical system of the heart, but which could have "side effects that are not as benign as metoprolol" (that's what I'm currently taking). I haven’t noticed any major side effects from the metoprolol, except that I misspell the word “metoprolol” every single time. I guess being tired is one of them, and I’ve certainly experienced being tired but who hasn’t been tired lately? My general malaise and ennui has been ongoing for a long time; it might just be my natural state. Let’s not blame science.

There's also a surgical option, which is more invasive and problematic, and as he said, “Generally tolerated well by people with a normal heart structure [of which I am one; could you please write that down?] and good for people who don’t like taking medication.”

I don’t like taking medication but I’m pretty sure I like it better than surgery.

Then, I asked him what could have caused this whole shebang, and he said, "Genetics, sleep apnea, lack of exercise." But, since my episodes occur during the day and not just at night, he doesn't think sleep apnea is it.

I admitted to being basically inert for the past year and a half. He agreed that could have something to do with it, and didn’t sound too smug when he did it. (He’s a nice guy.)

So the plan is this: we are going to keep my medication the same and he “prescribed” 30 minutes of walking a day, and then he will check in with me in three months. I put voice to my fears about having a stroke (why was it so hard to talk about this? I don’t know, but it is) and mentioned my varicose veins and though he didn't say "Irene, that is crazy! Girl you are NOT going to have a stroke,” he did add a daily baby aspirin to my meds. He doesn’t think the varicose veins have anything to do with anything but was probably happy for the visual. Sir, you are welcome.

Now, if I couldn’t be trusted to write in this stupid blog every day for more than 5 days, can I be trusted to walk 30 minutes a day every day? Honestly, I don’t know. But I kind of have to do it. So? Let’s go. To quote Abby Bartlet (and if you read the last post, you know that I can): Game on, boyfriend.

Day 5

I’m finding that on a daily basis, I don’t have a ton of stuff to say. I’m not the most talkative person in my family, either, believe it or not.

I’ve been watching The West Wing and listening to The West Wing Weekly, a podcast made by a major Aaron Sorkin fan and Josh Malina, one of the actors from the show. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched the entire series all the way through, but it’s a lot. The podcast is always on, while I work or shower or whatever. I like their voices. I like the way they make each other laugh.

Last night I dreamed that I was at an office job someplace, and Josh Malina stopped by my desk to tell me something. He leaned down next to my desk and told me he was getting married (in real life he’s married, to a woman he always refers to on the podcast as “the lovely Melissa,” which is sweet). In the dream, after the announcement, I said, Well, that sucked.

I don’t know if I was criticizing the delivery or the news itself, but that seemed harsh. Sorry, Josh. I think you’ve been married a long time, and you seem happy. I wish you nothing but a life of joy, and to be in my TV more often.

Day 4

I went to flute choir tonight because I won’t be able to go this weekend on Sunday because I’m getting a facial.

It was fun, and hard. The day started out weird when I messed up the coffee three times; by the time I was sight reading quartets at 7:30 I was a little fried, but it was fun.

I work tomorrow, my first Friday, so a short entry for today, but at least it got done. Goodnight.

Day 3

If you’re wondering why the last two posts don’t have proper titles, it’s because I’m doing this on my phone with the Square Space app and even though supposedly all I have to do to add a title is tap where it says “Enter a post title…” (it really says that, ellipses and all), when I try it, it doesn’t work.

[Please note: though I didn’t figure out how to do it on the mobile app at some point I logged into the desktop version and made some updates. Therefore the titles are looking spiffy now. Yay!]

There’s not much to say about today except I was alone in the office, which is good, because I had a complicated letter to write and it’s hard enough to do that with my own internal distractions, let alone someone else’s external ones.

That sounded weird.

Off the clock, I’ve been watching quite a bit of James May (“Top Gear,” James May goes to Japan [can’t remember the actual title] and “The Grand Tour”), and I think I have a bit of a crush on him. I watched the GT film where they’re dropped in the middle of nowhere and James and Richard build a car the three of them have to drive across Mongolia, and he was charming as hell.

I think someday I’d like to be driven somewhere by James May.

That’s also sounded weird, right.